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guttedsquid
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read my profile
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Location: United States
Interests: M&S all the way. I don't know shit about pop culture, but I can find you a derivative, and can explain alternation of generations better than a bryophyte could.
Expertise: thinking too much
Occupation: Lab Technician
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/18/2008
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| 4 days ago I got my IUD put in. I chose to get an IUD because I'll be moving in with my boyfriend shortly. I want more than anything to grow old with him and have children, but I want to do things in the proper order. Find a job, get my degree, get into grad school, get married, travel the world, gaze into his eyes for years on end, have children... you know. I don't want any surprises. I don't want to spend weeks worried about the timely arrival of my period because I missed a pill. I was scared to have it put in, because it was supposed to hurt terribly if you've never had children before. My doctor numbed me very well, and while I did feel pain it was not that bad. Getting my septum pierced and getting my nipples pierced were much more intense than getting the IUD inserted. I expected to cramp up a lot afterward, but the cramping only lasted two days. I feel great.
4 days from now I'll be with Payden again. I can't wait. It has been so long since I've been with him. I can't wait to throw my arms around him.
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| Finals are upon me. I have an test on Tuesday. My final exam is on Thursday. When I study I just feel like screaming "my mind is full of fuck!" Ugh. Life will be easier once I can bury this class. Its so hard to concentrate when I'm so close to... whatever it is I'm approaching.
I will be having an IUD inserted on Friday. I have this sinking feeling its going to hurt worse than getting my nipples pierced. It is one thing to shove a needle through your skin. Its another to shove something into your uterus when you've never had children and your girl parts are not womanly. Keep your fingers crossed for me :/
After that I've got a week to compile a cookbook for Latinos United, the student group I am president of, pack my stuff, and heal. In that order.
Then I'll be off in a whirlwind of life. Payden will be driving down to Florida and spending his PTO week with his friends and family. And me, somehow. It seems he's trying to cram an impossible amount of "doing stuff" into a very finite time-frame. We'll then drive back to North Carolina together.
I don't really know what to expect. I feel like life really is an illusion. Its an illusion I can bend to my whim. Because there is no freaking way I'm doing what I'm doing. There's no way that such an incredible guy is really loves me this much. There's no way I'm going to make it. I'm going to drive 11 hours, and then immediately forfeit the game. I'll implode upon arrival. I can just feel it. I am a moth being drawn to the flame.
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| Today I tried to talk to my supervisor about her humiliating me two weeks ago by reprimanding me for something retarded in front of another student assistant. When I finished expressing my concern she basically said to me that she doesn't give a flying shit, I suck at my job, and that if I feel my concerns are so valid I can take them up with the Dean and Academic Chair. So later today, I wrote a really nice looooong formal complaint to my boss, the academic chair of biological sciences, and the dean about my supervisor. I backed up my complaint with 7 verifiable instances of her unprofessional-ism, each with their own witnesses.
I then sent it out to all three individuals, without sending a copy to her.
I bet you anything news will be swarming all over the science building by 2:30. No one fucks with Candi.
And no one should expect to fuck with a Dominican woman all summer long for no goddamn reason. She said "take it to the Dean", so I'm taking it to the Dean goddammit.
But here's my little secret. I accidentally fucked up the dishwasher yesterday. In essence, it melted a bunch of black wax and then sprayed it all over the entire interior of the dishwasher. I was *gonna* clean it up, but since she wants a pissing contest I'm going to piss all over her. HAH! Let her clean it up.
I didn't go into her office asking for an apology. I went in there to ask her to stop reprimanding me in public because its hurtful and embarrassing. If she can't do that when I've only got two weeks to go, then she can go suck a dick. Plain and simple.
So, since I spill everything for xanga, here ya go. My first formal complaint in all its glory. Hopefully I didn't fuck up my grammar XD
Dear Dr. Gartner, I have been holding out on writing this email to you, but I finally feel that my concerns are serious and important enough to be brought to your attention for future consideration. I feel a great lack of support from my immediate supervisor, Mrs. Lavoie. She has not acknowledged the fact that I am reliable, independent, and efficient. I frequently put in many more hours than my contract can pay me for because I get caught up in fixing things up and reorganizing many semesters of neglect. She does not acknowledge that I go above and beyond the responsibility of a student assistant by ensuring the welfare of specimens out of the realm of BSC1005L, which includes paying for items I cannot be reimbursed for because they are not "required" materials. The purpose of this letter is to formally document the growing hostility and abuse that has been taking place in the work environment which needs to be resolved. I would like to think that Mrs. Lavoie is a great supervisor, but after being the recipient of what has become an established pattern of abuse, I feel a need to take action. She has dismissed all of my emotional concerns with respect to her unprofessional habit of publicly reprimanding me and degrading me for borrowing the supplies necessary to complete my setup. She has also flaunted her superiority unnecessarily to reinforce her decision to abuse my lab setups by stating that "I can take it to Grundset and Vaughan." I also find it very hurtful that she refuses to agree to not do these things in the presence of other students and student assistants, as well as apologize for her negligence. Since I can no longer dismiss these issues as isolated incidents, I would like to formally complain about Mrs. Lavoie's conduct, including the concerns I have expressed above, and all of the following: - Professionalism. Earlier today I entered Mrs. Lavoie's office to address a incident that happened two weeks ago during which she reprimanded me in front of another employee. I initiated the conversation because this incident left me feeling extremely embarrassed, but the conversation quickly turned nasty. I do not feel it is appropriate for Mrs. Lavoie to express her displeasure towards me by saying "Yes, I was annoyed." As an administrator I do not feel it is professional to treat a student assistant with less respect than the average tuition-paying student. Mrs. Lavoie stated that "as a human she had the right to be annoyed." When I admitted that I believed she should be polite at all times, person to person, no matter the circumstances, she continued to belittle my performance as an employee, and did not retract her statement. I would also like to note that during this exchange I repeatedly stated I was very disappointed in her response, and she continued to shake her head, smile, and continue the conversation in the same manner. Her comments were very hurtful and brought me to tears and she still continued in her abusive manner. I would have never recommended this kind of job to my peers I had foreseen such dismal treatment in the absence of Dr. Gartner.
- Timely Work Orders. Mrs. Lavoie has had repeated problems in the past with timely completions of work orders. I do not feel it is professional to forget to put in a requested work order, especially since the responsibility to make sure these requests are executed are solely hers. I requested she order a metal frame to be put into the filing cabinet in BSC1005L so I could better organize the materials in BSC1005L. I waited at least two weeks before she apologized for forgetting. I have also experienced difficulty acquiring certain plants, fungi, and algae, due to orders not being placed in a timely manner, or not being placed at all.
- MSDS and OSHA Standards. Earlier this semester I voiced my concerns to Mrs. Lavoie regarding a collection of specimens to be displayed in BSC1005L which were not properly labeled. Some organisms did not feature a genus name, and most did not specify the substance used to preserve them. I do believe it is negligent to tell a student assistant to label all specimens "preserved in carosafe" if " the solution looks clear" and "preserved in formaldehyde" if "the solution looks orange". I countered this comment by picking up a specimen in an orange solution which stated "preserved in carosafe" and questioned her guidelines for labeling. She stated "It would be fine." This is surely not the way to handle potentially carcinogenic preservatives. This is like asking a chemistry lab tech to label all white powder NaCl and all clear fluid DI water. If I was not made aware of the importance of MSDS and OSHA standards I probably wouldn't have resolved the issue appropriately, which was to transfer all specimens into new jars filled with carosafe, which I prepared myself, and dispose of the old preservatives in a biohazardous waste container. Mrs. Castle, Dr. Musgrave, and Dr. Andrasik are all aware of this incident, because they helped me resolve the issue of opening tough decade-old jars.
- Sharing of supplies between labs. During the same conversation mentioned in my first formal complaint, I asked Mrs. Lavoie to leave a note for the professor if she removed specimens from a display I prepared. This stems from various instances where I have set out materials for BSC1005L only to find some missing during the "breakdown" of the lab. I do believe it is negligent to remove specimens from the demo table in my lab without leaving a note for the professor. I expressed this concern to Mrs. Lavoie and she retaliated with "If anyone should have left the note, it was you" and did not agree to provide this courtesy to our professors. This was not a personal request. This was a legitimate concern. I feel that this destructive behavior would negatively impact both the professors of BSC1005L and tuition-paying students, because this could potentially leave a professor unprepared and unable to smoothly adapt to the circumstances, leaving students with a bad impression and poor reputation our professors do not deserve.
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Public Reprimanding. I do not think publicly reprimanding employees is the best way to communicate with multiple employees. None of my employers have ever disrespected me in this manner. When I suggested an alternative that involved her approaching the other employee after privately reprimanding me to inform them of pending changes in procedure, Mrs. Lavoie dismissed this and insisted that the way she conducted herself was indeed the way she wanted her actions to be interpreted. -
I would also like to note that on this same occasion, Erin later expressed to me her displeasure with Mrs. Lavoie's conduct, and personally thanked me for assisting her on a day I wasn't working and apologized for Candi's behavior. Erin also expressed her displeasure with Mrs. Lavoie's conduct to Professor Limas. -
On another occasion during which I was reprimanded in front of Jamie for "buying office supplies at the end of the fiscal year" which included a $5 plastic fish tank for two specimens used in an experiment, Jamie later expressed to me her displeasure with Mrs. Lavoie's behavior, and personally thanked me for taking the time to buy the tank for our two neglected fish. During the same trip to the store I purchased a second aquarium with my own money for a leech that survived near starvation in the spring semester. All three animals were nursed back to health.
- Texting. I do not feel that continuous texting emulates professionalism either. I do not feel comfortable conducting formal business through text messages. I feel all written requests should be made through email, so that offensive exchanges can be better documented and held accountable. I have never been contacted by another administrator or faculty member about my job through a text message. Jamie has complained to me that she has received text messages from Mrs. Lavoie at inappropriate hours of the night. While I have not experienced this, I also find this unprofessional.
- Misplacement of blame. Earlier this summer Mrs. Lavoie blamed Erin for leaving a bowl of earthworms on a table to decompose, and misinformed both Jamie and I by indicating Erin was responsible for this. To this day the issue of who left the earthworms out has not been resolved, but it is known that neither Dr. Digirolamo nor Erin were responsible for this. I personally would have been extremely offended if Mrs. Lavoie had gone around slandering my name, regardless of whether or not I were to blame. To my knowledge, Erin has not received an apology for this. Again, I find Mrs. Lavoie's behavior to be extremely unprofessional.
I would also like to repeat what I tried to tell Mrs. Lavoie with respect to what she was reprimanding me for this evening: I am very aware that there are times BSC2010L, BSC2011L and BSC1005L require materials at the same time. I am also aware that in these instances, BSC1005L does not receive priority. I do not, however, think it is appropriate to neglect to acquire the materials necessary to do my job just because there is "only one" of the object in question. A majority of the time I use materials well before or after they are used in other labs. I also told Mrs. Lavoie that I am careful to leave a note listing everything I borrowed if I cannot contact the lab tech and inquire about the availability of materials. I do understand that this may cause others an inconvenience if I have removed materials necessary for their immediate use, but all of us understand that in these instances, BSC1005L will have to do without. I completely understand all of this, because I am the lab tech responsible for BSC1005L, I am the lab tech who has to hunt down a majority of the necessary materials, and I am the lab tech who always hears first if I removed something important. However, as my 5th formal complaint states, I do not feel that saying all of this in a tone that I considered "aggressive" and "condescending" in the presence of another employee was the best way to address the situation, especially since I was only there to help remedy the problem I was responsible for.
Finally I would like to state that after my exchange with Mrs. Lavoie I seriously considered throwing in the towel to put an end to her semester-long stream of harassment. Upon considering the matter further I realized that this would not resolve the issue, and would not demonstrate the caliber of my responsibility, trustworthiness, and reliability as an employee. I strongly believe that the trust the Natural Science Department has in me is very valuable, and while my working conditions have been extremely unpleasant, I do intend to finish out my contract. While I am relieved to be so close to the end of the semester, this was not enough consolation to let my most recent exchange with Mrs. Lavoie roll off of my shoulders. I am very concerned for the individual who is to replace me, and I hope that this letter will result in better treatment of all student assistants. Please include this letter in Mrs. Lavoie's employee file for future reference, as I know for sure I am not the only lab tech to suffer from her caustic demeanor. In spite of all this abuse, I have thoroughly enjoyed my experiences with the professors and students at Saint Petersburg College, and I appreciate the opportunities I have been gifted with at this institution. I know from personal experience that Mrs. Lavoie's conduct does not represent the college, and I will not let my experiences with Mrs. Lavoie taint my memories of my first year at SPC. I am grateful for such a privileged experience as a student and employee at Saint Petersburg College, and I thank the Natural Science Department for being so nurturing.
Sincerely, Vanessa ************
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| I bought two golf-ball-sized apple snails yesterday. The guy at Creature Castle said they typically don't feed on plants. Boy was that a lie. I woke up this morning looking at a decimated aquarium. My sword plant is 1/3 eaten, my banana plant is GONE, and one of the bastard snails was working on the unnamed plant I also bought yesterday. In less than 24 hours they have almost completely undone a month of careful aquascaping. If the snails weren't so cute I would have smashed them and fed them to my leech, Ms. Smoochumz. The only plant that has remained unscathed it my dojo grass, probably because it is not as soft as my other broad leafed plants. T_T
I can't believe I thought they would be better behaved than the pointy snails. At least those guys left miniscule damage in their wake. These apple snails ar
I threw some lettuce in the tank to buy myself some time. Probably won't be much though, because they've already seared holes into the leaves. I'll have to buy a critter keeper for those snails so my plants can recover, and algae wafers to curb their appetite.
Hmm. I wonder if they'll eat duckweed? Duckweed is probably the only vegetation that could keep up with these guys.
I 'd throw in some oscillatoria, but I read somewhere that apple snails don't actually like to eat algae. They prefer plants. Go figure.
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| For some reason I felt compelled to archive all of my stuff, with the exception of stuff I've posted this summer.
I can't fully explain why, but I did it partly because I'm in a different place now. I love where I my life headed. I don't deal with my parents. I don't have much to say about the struggles of college. I'm good at it now :) Every night I bask in the thought that I'm one day closer to living with my sexy Payden. I spend the days gazing at my new pet leech, Ms. Smoochumz and wishing the ice cream man would stop by. I live the simple life...
Ya know?
Besides, almost no one seems to read anymore. I guess that is my own fault, for being so flaky about sitting down and banging out some words on a regular basis.
BANG BANG BANG.
Happy?
From here on I want it to be from here on. No more archives. No more angst and turmoil.
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